I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
