It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
