Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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