Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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