then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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