Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
