her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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