Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
