ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
