are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
