also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
