And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
