Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
