Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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