I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
