Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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