Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
