you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
