Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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