her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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