actually, I'm a sock model
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize