She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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