...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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