hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
