grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
