i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
