Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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