I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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