I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
