OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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