woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
