I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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