Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
