She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
