too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
