My sheets look like a crime scene.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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