I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
