honey bunches of taint.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
