if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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