checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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