you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
operation have a gay friend backfired
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
