He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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