if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
