Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
