So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
