so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
