'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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