Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
