Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
