i'm signing you up for texting rehab
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
