Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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