sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
