you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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