fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
