All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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