Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
