well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
