is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
