Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My sheets look like a crime scene.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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