I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
