I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
