She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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